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Domestic violence — also called intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Abuse by a partner can happen to anyone, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control a partner.

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It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:

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• Calls you names, insults you or puts you down

• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school or seeing family members or friends

• Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear

• Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful

• Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs

• Threatens you with violence or a weapon

• Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets

• Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will

• Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

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If you're in a same-sex relationship or if you're bisexual or transgender, you might also be experiencing abuse if you're in a relationship with someone who:

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• Threatens to tell friends, family, colleagues or community members your sexual orientation or gender identity

• Tells you that authorities won't help you because of your sexuality or gender identity

• Justifies abuse by questioning your sexuality or gender identity

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Pregnancy, children, family members and domestic violence

Sometimes domestic violence begins — or increases — during pregnancy. Domestic violence puts your health and the baby's health at risk. The danger continues after the baby is born.

 

Even if your child isn't abused, simply witnessing domestic violence can be harmful. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to be abused and have behavioral problems than are other children. As adults, they're more likely to become abusers or think abuse is a normal part of relationships.

You might worry that telling the truth will further endanger you, your child or other family members — and that it might break up your family. But seeking help is the best way to protect yourself and your loved ones.